Monday, March 18, 2013

Celebrity Beauty Blind Item: Which Starlet Showed Up to the Red Carpet with Bad Mall Hair?

This celebrity, famous for her cat-shaped eyes, past marriage to royalty, and contract with an international cosmetics powerhouse showed up to premiere of her new comedy that stars two of the biggest comedians in the business in a stunning dress, sultry smoked eyes and really bad ombre mall hair.  I’m sorry but if you can get the ombre look in a box at your local drug store, the look is officially over, at the least for celebrities.  Aside from the awful color, her hair looked dull and lifeless, as though she had been using hotel shampoo conditioner and nothing else for the past month. And she had this strange part down the middle which seemed to accentuate the thinness of her hair and made the style ever more offensive. Her hairstylist needs to be shot or at least demoted to reality TV starlets.

Celebrity Blind Item

What Should Our Limp Mall Hair Starlet Do?

Well aside from the obvious — ditching the Ombre — she needs to decide whether she wants to be a brunette or blond and stick with it.  Since she’s obviously prone to thin hair (perhaps it’s from her lack of food, judging by her jutting collarbone) she should start a vitamin regimen to put some strength back in those strands.  My recommendations: Barlean’s Organic Oils Fresh Catch Fish Oil  ($21.38) and Biosil Hair, Skin, and Nails VegiCaps ($31.98) — both are totally worth the money and she will start seeing a difference in your hair and skin within a couple weeks. Our poor starlet also needs to go to a hairstylist who can sculpt her lifeless tresses into a cute cut that will mimic volume and who will throw a nice shine-inducing gloss on her lifeless locks.  At home, our cat-eyed lovely needs to start worshipping at the house of Oribe: Oribe Shampoo for Magnificent Volume  ($37.00), Oribe Conditioner for Magnificent Volume ($39.00), Oribe Maximista Thickening Hair Spray ($22.28), and  Oribe Volumista Mist for Volume ($38.00). Now I know the Oribe line is pricey but obviously our starlet can afford it and for those of my readers who have fine hair in need of some serious volume, trust me, Oribe is worth every penny. I’m just going to say it and piss off all the other brands – Oribe makes the best hair care and styling products on the market.  There, I feel better now.

Who is our mystery limp ombre hair disaster?  Leave it in the comments field or tweet @BeautyBinge.

Janna Posted by Tags , , , , , , , ,

5 Responses to “Celebrity Beauty Blind Item: Which Starlet Showed Up to the Red Carpet with Bad Mall Hair?”

  1. March 18, 2013 at 4:55 pm, mommy said:

    ooh, you are so-o-o mean

    Reply

    • March 19, 2013 at 2:31 pm, janna said:

      Was I that mean? Listen, she’s a beautiful woman and there are some simple steps she can take to clean up her hair! You’re such a softy.

      Reply

  2. March 25, 2013 at 2:43 pm, sara said:

    well, I stil like ombre hair but you’re right her hair really looks dull and lifeless, she should do something about it :/

    Reply

    • March 25, 2013 at 2:45 pm, janna said:

      And you should stick to your guns about what you like! As long as we agree she needs some serious conditioning treatments… :-)

      Reply

  3. April 05, 2013 at 3:17 pm, Danae said:

    Now I want Oribe in my bathroom arsenal… Another item to add to my growing wishlist! (most of which has come from reading your blog. You’re bad for my wallet. Haha)

    Reply

Leave a Reply