Thursday, May 2, 2013

Jenny McCarthy Owes Me $50: Her Endorsed Eyedews DO Nothing!

We all know I love to bitch about my puffy eyes…. Since I was young I’ve suffered from terrible allergies which have always given me those damn puffs.  As I’ve gotten older the puffiness has spread to my eyelids (sexy!) and before I got knocked up, my daily wine intake (did I just admit to that?) helped to kick up the puff even more.  Now that I’m pregnant and shoving pickles and pork rinds in my mouth by the dozen, the salt is making my eyes look like I got punched. So you can imagine how excited I was when I read in one of the rags that Jenny McCarthy swears by Eyedews (infused jelly eye pads) for getting rid of puffiness and fatigued eyes after long flights.

Jenny McCarthy tweeted out this pic of her using the “miracle” Eyedews

Okay now here’s problem #1: I read about the EyeDews while my feet were luxuriating in a pedicure.  Lulled by the relaxing hot stone massage on my feet I made the ill decision of not doing comparison shopping, and instead logged into my Amazon app and saw that Eyedews were “on sale” for $49.99 and were available via Amazon Prime.  Somehow in my twisted mind Amazon Prime’s free 2-day shipping meant I would be getting a great deal. Right… guess what? Eyedews are $20 for 6 pairs on their siteOkay so technically Jenny McCarthy owes me $20 and I pay the $30 in stupid tax.

Now at the time of reading about Jenny McCarthy’s love of Eyedews, nowhere did it state that she’s a paid spokesperson for the brand (nor that she use to boink the founder Jason Toohey).  I found that out after a little research (yes, research pre-purchase would have made more sense) but the truth is even if I had that information prior, I still would have bought them. Finding products that depuff or even just reduce swelling are like my search for the holy grail.

So as soon as the Eyedews arrive I pop them in the fridge because (duh) you should keep all your hydrogel and cloth masks in the fridge for that extra cooling effect (and the Eyedews packaging recommended it).  24 hours later, with dark circles under my eyes intensified by the swollen puffs, I slap the jelly pads under my eyes. I notice right away one is sliding down my face.  I quickly look at the directions to see if I’m suppose to lay down (which would be odd because every other hydrogel eye mask I’ve tried can be worn while you do stuff around the house), but the directions say “…Eyedews can be equally effective on the go!” On the go my ass. The only thing “on the go” are the Eyedews.  I end up having to reposition them every few seconds as they continue their downward travels.  Once I sit down, slightly reclined, I thought that should solve the problem. Instead, I had a new problem –  one of they Eyedews kept peeling off my eye and I had to keep my finger on it to keep it in position.

Okay so all of this considered, if the Eyedews produced the advertised results I wouldn’t have cared that much about having to lie down to make the eye mask effective.  But unfortunately after 25 minutes the Eyedews lefts my eyes pretty much in the same sorry state they were in before.  I would say that the area as a whole was slightly lightened but it didn’t seem to impact the blueish spots (which is what I needed). It only affected the areas of my skin that didn’t really need lightening leaving a raccoon-like result.

So you’ve learned two lessons today… 1. Don’t be an asshole like me and make purchases on your Amazon app before ensuring you’re getting the best price (especially avoid your Amazon app when you are getting pedis and/or you’ve had a few cocktails) 2. Don’t trust Jenny McCarthy’s product endorsements. If you see her trolling around Chicago or LA, be sure to tell her she owes Beauty Binge $20. I WANT MY $20!

Janna Posted by Tags , , ,

2 Responses to “Jenny McCarthy Owes Me $50: Her Endorsed Eyedews DO Nothing!”

  1. May 16, 2013 at 2:42 pm, Laura said:

    Oh, I was roaring reading this. I’m sorry to hear that you will still be on the hunt for your HG eye treatments but this did brighten up my afternoon with the imagery of your Eyedew woes.


    • May 16, 2013 at 2:48 pm, janna said:

      Awww thanks Laura!!! Don’t be sorry… It’s my own damn fault! Shame on me for shelling out that kind of dough for those snake oil patches. Thanks for reading!>


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