Anne Hathaway was boring with a capital B (except for those glaring headlights she showed off in high beam all night). I know she’s growing her hair out but it looked more Dorothy Hamill than a pixie last night.  She could have had a stylist give it a little more of a modern shape or perhaps a teased crown with a skinny headband? I think slicked back hair would have looked better than that soccer mom coif.  And let's face it her makeup could have used some serious punch. A matte rose lip like Lipstick Queen Sinner 90 Percent Pigment  ($20) would have been perfect.

 Jennifer Lawrence may have missed a step on her way to claim her Oscar, but she certainly didn't miss a step when it came to her red carpet beauty (I had to make a reference to the trip; I simply couldn't resist). She was pure perfection in her classic yet intricate updo and her smoky grey eyes and pale pink lip. And this should go without saying, but the only excuse for having a light lip at the Oscars is if you’re rocking a smoky eye.  Jennifer is the only starlet who followed this golden red carpet rule.

Amanda Seyfried looked like a walking cadaver in her pale dress, pale lip, and eyes done in a pale lavender. I mean come on. It's makeup artistry 101. Go to any makeup artist for a big event and she or he will ask you what you're wearing. I assure you if you describe the dress Amanda wore, most makeup artists would insist on either a dramatic eye or statement lip.  And why does she look like she's about to cry? Is it because she knows her hair looks like a bad 90s prom updo that her date just ruined by insisting on keeping the convertible top down?  Frizz city!

All hail the queen!! Queen Latifah certainly gets a nod for one of the best looks of the night – showing off Spring's biggest trend – a bright fuchsia lip – paired with metallic eyes and long luscious lashes (which are either extensions or falsies, but looked amaze balls either way). The hair was slicked back and sophisticated in order to bring the eye back to her face. When the cast of Chicago went onstage my eye immediately went to her because of that stunning lip. Want to get that lip at home?  Try NARS ‘Andy Warhol’ Lip Gloss Penny Arcade ($26) which gives the same glossy bright fuchsia shine.

Charlize Theron is the only celebrity who gets a pass for her miminal makeup because her cropped hair was so dramatic, and let’s face it, she’s Charlize Theron. Her face is perfection. Her hair and dress brought the drama and her makeup just complemented her otherworldly beauty.

Jenna Dewan-Tatum: Could she be any more adorable with that baby  bump?  I did like that being pregnant didn’t prevent her from going sultry with her makeup. Celebrity Makeup Artist Kayleen McAdams created Jenna's look with all Tarte products, mixing a lot of shimmery shades to give Jenna an "inspired look of  iridescence."  Pro Tip: Kayleen applied Tarte Pure Maracuja Oil  ($46) wherever the sun would hit Jenna's skin to give it a natural sheen.  Jenna was also one of the only ones who successfully pulled off the piecy updo because it actually looked polished.

Reese Witherspoon: I’m in love with those thick sculpted waves but what the hell happened with the makeup? I mean is she even wearing lipstick? If she's going to go Old Hollywood Glam with the hair then she should complete the look with at least a matte red lip like Bobbi Brown Creamy Matte Lip Color Red Carpet ($24). And did her makeup artist run out of concealer? There is no excuse for sending Reese down the red carpet with those dark circles.  She desperately needed some contouring around the forehead too.  It almost looks like she got hit in the forehead (do you see the bump? It could have easily been contoured away). Amateur hour.

Amy Adams: Watch out! We have another walking cadaver! The hair screams homely mother-of-the-bride and there really is no makeup to critique.  Where’s the concealer and highlighter under her eyes? She looks exhausted!  And are you kidding me that we have yet another pale dress paired with a face void of color?  I’d like to bitch slap her makeup artist.  Honestly, if I would have been on the carpet I would have stolen Jessica Chastain's lipstick and begged Amy to put it on.  (I would have probably smeared a little on the apples of  her cheeks as well to give her the illusion of life)

Kerry Washington: What the hell happened? You were a beauty superstar at the Golden Globes and SAG Awards. I thought for sure I could count on you to bring it. Au Contraire. Where is your sophisticated updo showing off those glorious cheekbones?  Did you just drag a brush through your hair and head off to the red carpet? What the hell happened to your makeup? To call it ‘minimal’ would be generous . What is that on your lips, chapstick? Heads need to roll on Ms. Washington’s beauty team.

Jennifer Lopez: One word - STUNNING. Definitely one of my favorite looks of the night. Her high modern chignon pulls her face taut, showing off her glowing skin and kitten-lined eyes. It looked like the makeup artist used a dark brown in the crease, but blended it well enough so that it wouldn't darken the eye. If I had to make one change I would have given her a stronger lipstick. The eyes are not dramatic enough to warrant a nude lip.

Angelina Jolie: What can I say? She is a freak of nature. It would be quite difficult for any makeup artist to botch that gorgeous face. The makeup was classic screen siren. I loved the bold red lip and the expertly blended soft-lined eyes. For the hair, she could have done an updo or half-up style to make it look a bit more formal, but the hair still looks gorgeous. The one thing I would change is her hair color. It washes her out and she looks so much more striking with dark hair.

Rooney Mara: I think she is just stunning. I'm a bit over the whole blunt bang scene (seems like they were rampant on the red carpet), but she's probably the only one who can pull it off without it looking like a wig. Her makeup was flawless -- alabaster skin, bold brows, berry lips. She was my favorite face of the night.

Penelope Cruz: How did her stylist let her leave the house like that? I can't believe people were calling her the best of the night. Beauty Blogger Amber Katz tweeted last night that Cruz reminded her of a mother-of-the-bride. Perfect description. Cruz's makeup artist obviously ran out of concealer (her under eyes are purple!) and the hair is so for the over 65 crowd.

Gwyneth Paltrow: Is she even wearing makeup? Did her eyebrows disappear? A little color on her lips wouldn't kill anyone. The blond hair, the barely-there makeup, and the white dress totally washed her out. Her hair looked thin and brittle. The ponytail looked like an afterthought like she tied her hair back to put on that awful nude lipstick, and she forgot to take out the hair tie. And where's the jewelry? D-i-s-a-s-t-e-r.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Berenice Bejo: I could care less about this actress, but I LOVE her hair. The volume at the crown of the head made it more formal, and the way her stylist finished the braid at the nape of her neck gives it edge. Definitely my favorite hair of the night.