Anne Hathaway was boring with a capital B (except for those glaring headlights she showed off in high beam all night). I know she’s growing her hair out but it looked more Dorothy Hamill than a pixie last night.  She could have had a stylist give it a little more of a modern shape or perhaps a teased crown with a skinny headband? I think slicked back hair would have looked better than that soccer mom coif.  And let's face it her makeup could have used some serious punch. A matte rose lip like Lipstick Queen Sinner 90 Percent Pigment  ($20) would have been perfect.

 Jennifer Lawrence may have missed a step on her way to claim her Oscar, but she certainly didn't miss a step when it came to her red carpet beauty (I had to make a reference to the trip; I simply couldn't resist). She was pure perfection in her classic yet intricate updo and her smoky grey eyes and pale pink lip. And this should go without saying, but the only excuse for having a light lip at the Oscars is if you’re rocking a smoky eye.  Jennifer is the only starlet who followed this golden red carpet rule.

Amanda Seyfried looked like a walking cadaver in her pale dress, pale lip, and eyes done in a pale lavender. I mean come on. It's makeup artistry 101. Go to any makeup artist for a big event and she or he will ask you what you're wearing. I assure you if you describe the dress Amanda wore, most makeup artists would insist on either a dramatic eye or statement lip.  And why does she look like she's about to cry? Is it because she knows her hair looks like a bad 90s prom updo that her date just ruined by insisting on keeping the convertible top down?  Frizz city!

All hail the queen!! Queen Latifah certainly gets a nod for one of the best looks of the night – showing off Spring's biggest trend – a bright fuchsia lip – paired with metallic eyes and long luscious lashes (which are either extensions or falsies, but looked amaze balls either way). The hair was slicked back and sophisticated in order to bring the eye back to her face. When the cast of Chicago went onstage my eye immediately went to her because of that stunning lip. Want to get that lip at home?  Try NARS ‘Andy Warhol’ Lip Gloss Penny Arcade ($26) which gives the same glossy bright fuchsia shine.

Charlize Theron is the only celebrity who gets a pass for her miminal makeup because her cropped hair was so dramatic, and let’s face it, she’s Charlize Theron. Her face is perfection. Her hair and dress brought the drama and her makeup just complemented her otherworldly beauty.

Jenna Dewan-Tatum: Could she be any more adorable with that baby  bump?  I did like that being pregnant didn’t prevent her from going sultry with her makeup. Celebrity Makeup Artist Kayleen McAdams created Jenna's look with all Tarte products, mixing a lot of shimmery shades to give Jenna an "inspired look of  iridescence."  Pro Tip: Kayleen applied Tarte Pure Maracuja Oil  ($46) wherever the sun would hit Jenna's skin to give it a natural sheen.  Jenna was also one of the only ones who successfully pulled off the piecy updo because it actually looked polished.

Reese Witherspoon: I’m in love with those thick sculpted waves but what the hell happened with the makeup? I mean is she even wearing lipstick? If she's going to go Old Hollywood Glam with the hair then she should complete the look with at least a matte red lip like Bobbi Brown Creamy Matte Lip Color Red Carpet ($24). And did her makeup artist run out of concealer? There is no excuse for sending Reese down the red carpet with those dark circles.  She desperately needed some contouring around the forehead too.  It almost looks like she got hit in the forehead (do you see the bump? It could have easily been contoured away). Amateur hour.

Amy Adams: Watch out! We have another walking cadaver! The hair screams homely mother-of-the-bride and there really is no makeup to critique.  Where’s the concealer and highlighter under her eyes? She looks exhausted!  And are you kidding me that we have yet another pale dress paired with a face void of color?  I’d like to bitch slap her makeup artist.  Honestly, if I would have been on the carpet I would have stolen Jessica Chastain's lipstick and begged Amy to put it on.  (I would have probably smeared a little on the apples of  her cheeks as well to give her the illusion of life)

Kerry Washington: What the hell happened? You were a beauty superstar at the Golden Globes and SAG Awards. I thought for sure I could count on you to bring it. Au Contraire. Where is your sophisticated updo showing off those glorious cheekbones?  Did you just drag a brush through your hair and head off to the red carpet? What the hell happened to your makeup? To call it ‘minimal’ would be generous . What is that on your lips, chapstick? Heads need to roll on Ms. Washington’s beauty team.

Jessica Chastain: Oye vey with that middle part. It draws attention to her thinning hair and the harsh light made her look like she’s balding. I also thought the way the hair was pulled back it made her look like she has elf ears. I like the makeup but her lipstick looks like it’s bleeding and dry in a lot of the pics. Amateur hour.

Claire Danes: When I first saw Claire Danes with those smoky eyes and big Farrah waves I knew she would be one of my favorite looks of the night. Matin Maulawizada, makeup artist and global artistry director for Laura Mercier created Danes' look, "I decided to go with a smoky eye and not a red lip since the dress was so red." Celebrity hairstylist Peter Butler took hair inspiration from her red Versace gown, giving Claire sexy, loose waves, likening her to a modern-day Jessica Rabbit. Get the Look: 1. Blowdry hair with a large, round, boar bristle brush. Take a curling iron with a 1 1/2 inch barrel and start curling hair section by section. Set the curls with JOHN FRIEDA Frizz Ease Moisture Barrier Firm Hold Spray ($5.99 ). 2. To create the perfect wave, use a paddle brush to brush through curls. Apply a styling cream throughout the hair -- it will soften hair and add shine while leaving the curls chunky and intact. 3. Finish by adding a fine mist of hairspray to lock in the style.

Katherine McPhee: If you asked me at the beginning of the night who I thought would get "sexiest of the night" I assure you Katherine McPhee would not have made my Top 5. Nothing against her, in fact I've always found her lovely but she stars in two shows I don't watch and she's never wow'd me before on the carpet. She certainly got my attention last night with those smoldering eyes (by the way, she's totally smizing in this pic) and messy, deconstructed updo. NARS Makeup Artist Jake Bailey shared his inspiration, "Katharine's dress looks like it belongs in a Helmut Newton photograph, so I thought the makeup should be strong and sultry...the kind of eye makeup that would be in one of those photographs. It's an eye look for sure - a smoky eye with a beautiful nude skin palette." Bailey used all NARS Products: Radiant Creamy Concealer (Spring 2013), Light Reflecting Setting Powder - Pressed ( Spring 2013), Via Veneto Larger Than Life(R) Long-Wear Eyeliner
Cordura Duo Eyeshadow, and Biscayne Park Satin Lip Pencil (Spring 2013).

Sienna Miller: Is she kidding me? It has to be the genes, right? When I first saw her I thought - this a new mum who is only attending because she's nominated. She reluctantly left her beautiful little family behind after she quickly slicked her hair back in a bun, slapped on some tinted moisturizer, swiped a dark eyeliner along her upper lash line, and perhaps put on lip liner in the car ride over. If you enlarge the photo (yes I'm a bit crazy) you will see she's only wearing the remnants of a lip liner. It's like she finished lining her lips, got distracted by a call and forgot to put on lipstick or gloss. If you watched E! Red Carpet last night, you saw Giuliana Rancic tell Sienna that she hated her because she could see close up that Sienna was barely wearing any makeup and she still looked amazing.

Kate Hudson: I really want to get past the "80s porn star accepting an award" dress but it's so distracting. Okay let's all put our hand over her pic from the neck down. Much better. The makeup is obviously flawless -- her skin looks amazing and I love the delicate little kitten eye. I had mixed feelings about the neutral lip. I kind of think I would have liked to see her with a little color given the dress, but the nude seems to work well with her All-American good looks. Hair (take your hand down): Well, hmmm... My bitchy side says it's a good thing her hair is long and down because it's sparing us from seeing the entire bedazzled gold situation. My pragmatic side says that if she liked the dress enough to wear it she should have worn her hair up to show it off. My bitchy side wins in this situation due to the severity of the dress.

Connie Britton: She was definitely one of my favorite looks of the night, channeling the 1940s starlets with her classic makeup and flawless hair. Celebrity hairstylist Rod Ortega created Connie's coif: “The inspiration was Rita Hayworth in ‘Gilda’.” Ortega first dampened Connie’s hair and prepped it with Leonor Greyl’s Serum de Soie Sublimateur on the ends, and then on the roots he applied Leonor Greyl’s Mousse au Lotus Volumatrice. He then blow dried the hair with a round boar brush, smoothing out the hair. Before using a heat styling tool, he recommends using Leonor Greyl’s Spray Structure Naturelle. “This setting spray is very important because it’s going to give the hold for the style.” Using a 1-inch curling iron and setting the hair with the setting spray, he let Connie’s hair cool and brushed the waves out with a large paddle brush into beautiful, shiny waves. He then secured the waves with Leonor Greyl’s Lacque Souple and finished a couple of pumps of the Leonor Greyl Spray Structure Naturelle.

Julianne Hough: Wow. I mean really, what can I say here that isn't blatantly obvious? This girl just cannot get it right -- either she shows up on the red carpet looking too old, too young, too slutty, or too casual. She didn't break the chain of bad decisions at the Globes. This quiff / faux hawk is so so MTV Music Awards two years ago.

Now take a look at the close-up of the eye: the cool silver of the eye shadow make her green eyes look almost steely blue and her natural yet groomed eyebrows and light mauve lipstick subtly complement the bold eye. By the way I love how naked her skin looks. If I had to guess I would say she's just wearing a tinted moisturizer and some primer.

Charlize Theron also personified perfection at this premiere with her sculpted flip updo and structured smokey eye. The simplicity of the hair complements the drama of the eye makeup and bright emerald earrings. While Kristen's smokey eye was diffused, Charlize's smokey eyes were defined (hence "structured") into an opaque shape using black and grey shadows and a touch of metallic to make her eyes look like they are sparkling. I obviously love the dusty rose lipstick and cheeks. The one thing I'm iffy on with this look is her roots. I'm assuming they are meant to be darker (if not someone in her entourage needs to be fired), and I think it just looks like a forgotten detail and takes away from the sophistication of the look.

Onto the red carpet road kill at the What to Expect When You're Expecting LA premiere... Really, JLo?? Serious or kidding? You know better than to let your makeup artist line both your waterlines with dark pencil. You looked like you were squinting in every photo. I would love to wax poetic about the gorgeous dark wine lipstick (one of the biggest trend on the carpets right now) because it looks fantastic with her skin tone and hair color, but I'm so distracted by the terrible eye makeup and grandma ponytail I simply can't give JLo's beauty team any gold stars on this one.

Is she kidding me with this ponytail? What happened here? Is that really just an Ouchless ponytail holder? It seems like maybe her hair was annoying her (perhaps it was that unbecoming zip-zip middle part) and she just got frustrated and pulled it back. But even then, wrap some hair around the ponytail holder or something. My God, she's getting dangerously close to scrunchy territory and I don't like it.

Oh, hello Anna Kendrick. Don't you look stunning. Maybe next time you can lend JLo your beauty team? Because Anna darling, you looked amazing from every angle with your timeless, sophisticated makeup and romantic tumbling curls (and notice Anna has a middle part but her's seems soft and natural).