Posts Tagged ‘Beauty Graveyard’

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Banished to the Beauty Graveyard: Foreo Luna Silicone Cleansing Brush



“Disappointment” cannot even begin to describe how I feel about my new Foreo Luna Silicone Cleansing Brush.


Yeah, that’s right. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this ridiculously overpriced ($199) vibrator being advertised as “a silicone facial brush for sensitive skin that channels both T-sonic pulsations for deep and gentle cleansing, and lower-frequency pulsations to reduce the signs of aging.”

There is no deep cleansing. There is no gentle cleansing. There is no cleansing.

Using the Foreo Luna basically feel like you’re trying to cleanse your face with the wrong end of your Clarisonic cleansing brush. 

So, why did I plunk down $200 in the first place? Because I’m a helpless beauty addict. Sometimes I just can’t resist believing all the hype I read in the magazines and blogs. In this case, I desperately wanted to believe the hype since I constantly over-anguish about bacteria growing on my Clarisonic cleansing brush (these are the things that keep me up at night). As a silicone cleansing device, the Foreo Luna is “nonporous to resist bacteria buildup, making it up to 35x more hygienic than standard sonic-cleansing brushes.”

How could I resist?

Obviously I didn’t, and I was instantly disappointed when I opened the box. The cleansing device is a really awkward design — it doesn’t fit easily in your hand and the tip isn’t narrow enough to effectively get to small areas like the corners of your nose or between your eyes.

Once the Foreo was fully charged, I followed the instructions and applied cleanser to my face, ran the device under water, and then begun the “cleansing” process. I would love to describe the “cleansing” experience more eloquently but, in short, it sucked.

It felt like the hard ridges were catching and tugging on my skin. I wet the tip a couple more times and it didn’t help. Then, after rinsing my face I went to the true test — I swiped a rose water-soaked cotton pad across my face and, you guessed it, the cotton pad showed traces of makeup.

Total. Epic. Failure. 


And with that, I cast the Foreo Luna into the beauty graveyard… Where all useless beauty products go to die.


Posted by Tags ,
Thursday, May 29, 2014

Banished to the Beauty Graveyard: Clarisonic Pedi Sonic Foot Transformation

Yeah, that’s right… I’m the jackass who shelled out $199 for the CLARISONIC Pedi Sonic Foot Transformation…  You know you were tempted to buy it when you saw it at Sephora, but of course you probably saw it was $199 and intelligently put it back on the shelf.

Okay, so here was my rationalization:

1) Clarisonic has cred (or at least they did before this debacle)!  Their CLARISONIC Sonic Skin Cleansing System ($199) is considered revolutionary for deep cleansing skin and reducing pore size. And, Clarisonic’s Opal Sonic Infusion System Kit ($185) is by far the most effective product I’ve ever used to battle under eye puffiness. I use it twice a day  — first with eye gel in the morning and then with an anti-aging eye cream at night.  My eyes definitely look brighter more rested since I started using the Opal.

2) I’m never happy with my pedicures. I get home and feel like the bottoms of my feet are still rough. Who wouldn’t want a fun little contraption to finish the job?

3) I had a bunch of Sephora credit, so in my mind, I wasn’t actually buying it with real money.

So what does $199 buy you? From their website:

Transform your toes with CLARISONIC® Pedi sonic foot transformation, a system proven to smooth, soften and hydrate rough, dry heels and toes so you’re sandal ready in no time at all. The precision engineered device gives you a professional quality buff with at home ease.

Set includes:

– Pedi handle
– Pedi Wet/Dry buffing brush head
– Pedi disc
– Pedi boost (1 oz.)
– Pedi buff (6 oz.)
– Pedi balm (3.5 oz

How to use: Charge for 24 hours before first use and between uses. Every day, scrub away set-in debris and smooth dry, rough skin with the Wet/Dry Buffing brush head and Pedi-Buff. Follow with the Pedi-Balm to hydrate and protect smoothed feet. Twice a week, use the Pedi Smoothing disc on dry feet before your daily buff followed by the Pedi-Boost for total foot renewal and additional skin softening. Seal with the Pedi-Balm.

Okay, so it’s nice that the kit includes a scrub, peel, a balm and two different brush heads, but you’ll notice in the instructions above  the words “every day” and “twice a week”. Who the fuck has the time for all that?  I certainly don’t. Even if I did and I religiously spent 15-20 minutes a day essentially giving my feet a facial, it still wouldn’t be worth the money. I tried using the dry disk head more than once and it barely did anything. The wet/dry buffing head is a joke. A wet wash cloth could have easily done the job.

This product was beyond a disappointment.  And, with that I cast it into the ugly depths of the beauty graveyard… Where all useless beauty products go to die.


Posted by Tags ,
Thursday, May 16, 2013

Banished to the Beauty Graveyard: Benefit Cosmetics Fake Up Concealer

Once again I, Beauty Binge, have been duped by the over-enthusiastic media… If you’re an idiot like me and buy a product just because the magazines and beauty blogs rave about it then perhaps you were dumb enough to shell out $24.00 for the Benefit Cosmetics Fake Up Concealer.  I violently threw this greasy, no-good concealer into the Beauty Graveyard (AKA the trash bin) out of frustration for spending so much money on a worthless tube of garbage.  Think I’m being too harsh? Think again…

This concealer is touted by Sephora as: An ultrahydrating crease-control concealer. Cover-up goes incognito. This moisturizing crease-control concealer with vitamin E and apple seed extract hides dark circles and diffuses fine lines for a silky smooth, ultranatural look. Available in three shades, it’s proven to keep skin hydrated for six hours and won’t cake, crease, or settle.

Right… the only thing this concealer “covered up” was my good shopping sense. It goes on greasy and shiny which brings more attention to my puffiness. I don’t consider myself someone to have intense dark circles or even medium dark circles but this grease-ball in a tube couldn’t conceal even the slightest darkness.  It has way too much moisturizer to do any sort of concealing.  To put it bluntly, this product sucks.  Spend the extra 5 seconds and put on an eye cream before applying a quality concealer like Amazing Cosmetics Amazing Concealer Fair Golden ($42) or Cle de Peau Beaute Concealer ($70) which may be pricey but should last you for at least a year (if it doesn’t you’re applying way too much product!).

 Benefit Fake Up Concealer, you are officially banished to the Beauty Graveyard, never to return to the Beauty Binge beauty closet again!

Posted by Tags , , , ,
Monday, March 11, 2013

Banished to the Beauty Graveyard: Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics Lip Tar

This was the fastest banishment (in truth I’m sending it straight back to Sephora) in the beauty graveyard’s history.  Usually I don’t make the Sephora return deadline because I like to give a product up for banishment a few chances. Not with the Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics Lip Tar ($18). There has been some buzz around this high-pigment liquid lipstick so I was so excited when I first opened the cute little zippered pouch that came with instructions, a tube, and a lip brush. I bought it in Anime – seriously neon fuchsia since fuchsia is such a hot color for Spring.

Obsessive Compulsive Lip Tar

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by Tags , , , ,
Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Banished to the Beauty Graveyard: Creme de la Mer (La Mer Moisturizing Cream)

Yeah, that’s right. I am banishing the celebrity cult-favorite  Creme de la Mer (La Mer Moisturizing Cream) $275 to the bowels of the beauty graveyard after it sat on my shelf for more than a year (simply because I didn’t have the heart to throw away such an expensive product).  Like other idiots out there, I figured if J-Lo can fill a swimming pool with the amount of La Mer she uses yearly and Maria Carey allegedly uses it on her babies’ bottoms, then it must be a miracle cream. I don’t remember what specifically made me pull the ‘idiot tax’ trigger and fork out almost $300 for a cream, but I assume it was at a Gift-with-Purchase event during the dreadfully cold winter months in NYC when I was fed up waking up to dry irritated patchy skin every morning.

I mean let’s face it — if I’m in a Gift-with-Purchase environment, very little is restraining me from making bad decisions.  I’m pretty sure I bought this during a Saks GwP event and gloriously justified my purchase with the cheesy bag full of samples I got for blowing over $250.  I’m getting angry with myself even as I type this recollection of stupidity.  I’m telling you I’m like a gambling addict with a handful of chips in a casino or an alcoholic at an open bar when it come to GwP events. You would think at some point I would just learn to avoid them!  (I have suggested Beauty Addicts Anonymous but our disease simply isn’t being taken seriously)
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by Tags , ,
Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Banished to the Beauty Graveyard: Chantecaille Nano Gold Energizing Serum

I’m sure you can imagine the alarming number of beauty products that fill my house.  Sure, I have a designated room which holds my various beauty cabinets full of unopened products, as well as a huge project desk filled with hundreds of products that are currently being tested, are slated to be tested, or were tested months ago but because I’m lazy they’re still taking up space on the desk. Then there’s the spillover… Boxes and boxes full of beauty products scattered throughout the house and random beauty items you may find on coffee tables, end tables and even in the kitchen. Yes, my husband is a very tolerant man.  Now, I’m not a total disaster. I do take the time at least once a month to cull the collection on my desk:

– If I used the product and liked it but I’m not ready to write about it, it goes into the beauty cabinet with a sticky

– If I’m actively using / testing a product it stays in its coveted position

– If I haven’t been testing a product but I want to, it gets moved up to the front to remind me to try it

– And of course if I’ve tried it and never used it again because I didn’t like it or it didn’t produce the desired results, it gets sent to the dreaded Beauty Graveyard — an unspeakable bin full of beauty products that will probably never be seen or used again.

And with that I introduce my new post category, da-da-dum… Banished to the Beauty Graveyard!

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by Tags , , ,